Yet I constantly find that I can fall to the other extreme, not feeling worthy or good enough. Denying gifts and talents I have. Shunning compliments and trying to celebrate other people instead. It is my worst nightmare to make someone else feel uncomfortable or embarrassed, I'd rather feel it for them.
Does that even make sense?
But then, isn't that completely different from humility? By denying that we are good at something or being proud of what we have achieved, we are completely off balance and in a way, just as bad as people who are arrogant or vain. Right?
“Be careful not to mistake insecurity and inadequacy for humility! Humility has nothing to do with the insecure and inadequate! Just like arrogance has nothing to do with greatness!”
- C. JoyBell C.
Example:
I am incredibly keen for The Great British Bake Off (I flipping love baking).
Anyway, for those of you that watch it... stop for a minute from admiring Mary Berry's cracking jacket collection and admiring Paul Hollywood's hair (he wears it well, we've all thought it), and think about the contestants.
Ruby is one extreme, completely undervalues herself (or so it appears) cries all the time and thinks she is terrible despite doing very well most weeks.
On the other end of the scale we have Kimberley (warning I've been shot down for thinking this about her and may be wrong, but go with it for now) she takes pride in what she does, explains all her baking steps as if she is on her own cooking show and frowns whenever the judges make a negative comment about her bake -for some reason that look drives me mental!
Where is the middle ground here?!
From what I can understand it lies in a genuine acceptance of who you are. Actively trying to acknowledge what you are good at (having this affirmed by people you know and trust helps) and using those gifts for good, well as far as is possible. Not parading around about how fantastic you are, but accepting credit where credit is due.
That is something I struggle a lot with. I have a love/hate relationship with compliments. How on Earth do you accept them the right way?! I always end up being awkward and just replying with 'yeh, you too...' which depending on the compliment often makes no sense at all.
I am in love (that's right, in LOVE) with Heather Small's voice. She is just, phoa. So naturally, M People's song 'Proud' comes to mind, it totally rings true in this scenario.
'What have you done today to make you feel proud?'
There is nothing wrong with being proud in what you have done. And remembering things that you are pleased with, looking on the bright side as well as acknowledging the negatives.
For instance, yesterday I did loads of admin and emails which I've been putting off for years (exaggeration, but close...), decided to join my friend Susie in going to Zumba classes starting next week (woo!) and I went for a run, first time in ages. I am feeling proud of those achievements!
On the other hand, I also bought the Miley Cyrus song 'Wrecking ball'- which I'm feeling less proud about... Unfortunately I seem to have a strange affection for the song and feel sad that she is going through a tough time and going a bit loony, poor Miley. C'est la vie. We can't win em all.
So I guess, in a round about way what I'm saying is let's challenge ourselves. Start taking pride in who you are and what you do. Not overdoing it, but acknowledging each day/week/month what you feel proud to have done. I know I need to start accepting compliments and thriving in the knowledge that I am good at some things and stop doubting myself, maybe we can do this together? (I realise I have no idea who reads these so it could just be me by myself, but that's cool).
For your enjoyment:
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