Settling back into Worcester and living in 'Canal' (third year accommodation in Jericho) has taken a bit of getting used to, not only because it is a flipping trek to Tesco but also a new awareness of insects... somehow ladybirds keep appearing in my room. I've counted five and I have no idea where they came from. At least they're not spiders or snakes *shudder* hey?!
Housing issues aside, I am suddenly much more aware that although I am definitely living in Oxford for the next year or so I have no idea about what is next. And that's a pretty scary thought. From someone who finds it easier to dream about life and imagine big things that I could do- particularly things that involve travelling- it's hard to stop myself dreaming my life away.
And I'm wondering, is there a danger in this dreaming? I mean, I think it's great to have ambitions and to 'dream big'. It frustrates me that we often don't hope/wish/expect more, challenge ourselves and the status quo. But, I'm noticing especially in my own life that sometimes all this dreaming, isn't helpful.
The romanticism surrounding what we fantasise for our own lives, has been developed through what we've grown up seeing. Countless films, novels, TV shows, instagram, twitter and blogs depict stories of people doing amazing jobs, travelling the world, meeting celebrities, falling in love, having the most perfect children and so on. And this can make your heart yearn for a similar, if not the same fairy tale life.
But in real life, often your situation dictates who you meet, where you can afford to live or manage to travel to. What job you can do depends on an ever extending list of expected qualifications: a bachelors degree (which has to at least be a 2:1), a Masters, a PhD, an internship, three years experience in 'the field.' Flipping eck. In reality decisions are complicated.
It is rare that you will find your dream job, your dream house and suddenly fall in love with the man/woman of you dreams who you stumble across in a queue for coffee.
But what about the people we see who seem to have it all?!
Well that's just it. Often they don't, what you see online, in TV and in fiction is a representation of reality. Everyone has to do their washing or sort out the dishwasher, decide what to eat for dinner, gets ill and has a bad hair/face day. It's just life. And life is always a bit messy.
So what am I really saying?
I guess it's accepting that life incorporates a series of choices, some which may lead to a 'perfect' situation, others you may regret, others are a compromise. And most have to recognise some sense of reality. It's good to dream big, but it's also good to recognise that you may not get everything you dream of.
And that's ok. Sometimes you have to live in the here and now. It's not really a grand revelation, I know.
But it's kind of freeing isn't it?
Who knows where I'll be this time next year. And quite frankly, that does freak me out a little bit. I would love to say that I might be living somewhere in sunny California, studying for a Masters in conflict resolution, having study breaks surfing at the beach, somehow all of it funded. But in reality, that is most likely a pipe dream. Maybe one day I'll get there, but for now let's focus on reading the IPCC report for my lecture on Climate Change (such a geographer) and deciding on what to have for lunch.
This is one of my favourite quotes from a book I'm reading:
East of Eden by John Steinbeck
This week, let's be kind to ourselves. Take the pressure away from our big dreams, and think about today. Let's not strive for perfection in our future, but appreciate a sense of perfection and contentment in the present.
No comments:
Post a Comment