Gemma/Gem is someone who is so easy to just hang out with and is also incredibly talented and smart. We both love The O.C and have been watching a lot of it recently. Amongst the endless comments of how much we love Seth, Ryan is getting funnier and how Sandy Cohen is such a dude, something we both realised whilst watching it was how our own views about ourselves and other people have been shaped by the images we believe to be real. FYI, I forgot to mention that Gem is also incredibly creative and has a stunning voice, whilst she's here she is also working on producing an album, which is so exciting!
So whilst she has channeled some of the stuff we have chatted about into her songwriting, I have been mulling it over and I guess now blogging about it...
I spoke about this with one of my other good friends last week, and I am not sure if it's something that many people do or if it's just me, but I'm gonna put it out there anyway.
In life, I seem to enter situations where I am making friends or am thrown together in a community and unconsciously(ish) do not gravitate towards people who I think are uber cool, intimidatingly beautiful and perfectly symmetrical.
Why?
...because they seem to have it all 'together.'
And if I'm honest I feel like they are too up there and groovin for me, they wouldn't want to be my friend, right?
BUT ISN'T THAT CRAZY. As in who thinks like that?
It's probably just my own insecurities, but when I get that vibe off of people, I just lose a bit of confidence and can't be fully myself with them. It's a fear of rejection I suppose.
And don't get me wrong, there are really cool people I am friends with. Yet even then, it often takes me a little while to get over there awesomeness and be myself around them. It is so bizarre when I stop to think about it, because if the situation were reversed I would hate people/my friends to think I was 'too cool' for them. And I'm sure my friends don't think that way at all!
I suppose in reality, we all have an outward appearance that may look 'together', but actually we are all a little messy. Well at least that is true in my life, and I guess that is a kind of protective barrier. If the past couple of weeks are anything to go by, my life is 100% crazy right now. It's a total mess and I'm quite disoriented because I am generally a 'fixer.' I like to be proactive and resolve things. Right now, I can do neither and it's pretty weird.
Still, s'all good.
Huh?!
Because life is flipping messy. It can't remain stable and dandy all the time, it is forever changing and dynamic. You can't always understand people and being uncomfortable is sometimes a good thing. As my friend said to me, you have to find your own confidence in who you are, remain in it and keep pursuing getting to know people whatever shape/size/personality. If they don't accept encouragement and friendship, then so what? Move on. It reflects on them rather than you.
True that, my friend, true that.
Behind the façade that we have built up around ourselves, each of us has our own insecurities, qualms or grievances that only ourselves or a trusted few ever get to see. But I say (and I'm challenging myself in this too), let us not fear pursuing friendship with people because of their perhaps intimidating outward appearance. And if we ourselves have that protective barrier up, maybe it would be good to try a bit of vulnerability. Rejection hurts, but as much as self preservation may keep us from feeling pain, it can also prevent us from the possibility of great friendship and relationship with some pretty cool people.
So in the light of being open with y'all, I am just letting you know that my life is messy right now, I am pretty weird, and definitely do not have it all together... I hope we can be friends.
I realise that was a pretty intense post, apologies. Here are some funnies to lighten the mood.
Oh and have a listen to this, I can't get over how good it is. Particularly enjoying the Bass bit. Cor.
No comments:
Post a Comment